BRUSH ::: Thedarith Cometh Hither

I had a great weekend, thank you very much. Last Saturday, I went to Powerbooks Greenbelt (braved the heavy rains) for David Sedaris's book signing. I expected to have a miserable afternoon, too. What with it being a pay day weekend that meant every square foot of the city would be heartily represented.

A few hundred of these turned up at my destination, clutching piles of David's books as if to say "I've been a fan when all these wannabes' parents were still virgins" whereas my two not so mint, inexpensive, handy paperbacks said "I'm glad to meet you, David!" In truth, I have only read Dress Your Family in Corduroy and have been reading nothing but that book for nearly a year now.

From where I stood at the back, I could see Jessica Zafra sitting up front. She had on her trademark cat-eye glasses which, according to her blog, had just been resurrected.

David was very amicable. He reminded me of Woody Allen both when he spoke and with his movements. He wore a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and plaid shorts that revealed his hairy legs.

During the hour-long reading, he shared his musings on this visit and gave the impression that he's enjoyed it so far. He's been to quite a few places I never expected he would be. Lunch at Jollibee a few times, drinks at Hobbit House (he said it was a great idea because it changes perceptions of little people), haircut at Bruno's barbers, roughed it up at Wowowee (!) and lost all his money at a cockfight held in a "sports center". He was pretty convinced he was the only gay person in that arena, too.

He started the reading with a fable involving a cat and a baboon in a salon. Six to Eight Black Men (from Dress Your Family) was chosen because he loved Christmas and that this was our cold period. Whoever told him this must not have done a great job explaining things like climate.

David would read for more than an hour, the lengthiest among his three book signings in this stop. The crowd, a mix of Manila's literati, yuppies, soccer moms (mostly white expats), gay men, artisans, a bald goth girl, and me, laughed hysterically at the right moments and politely at the not-so-funny ones.

They followed it by having David take in questions from the audience. One woman asked if he was planning on moving to the Philippines but, unfortunately, due to David's rambling answer, I forgot what he said.

He took a couple of cigarette breaks in between signing books. Around this time, a youngish white guy arrived and proceeded to the patio where David took a breather. I could only assume it was Hugh since his name was mentioned a couple times in David's answers.

As I sat and waited, I tried to think of a good question to ask him. I even leafed through "Dress" for ideas. Then I thought about complementing his shorts. "I should get my father one like that" or just simply "I love your shorts!" I also thought about asking him to visit this blog and leave a comment just so I can brag about it.

My number was up and I walked over to his table as he greeted me with a sprightly "Hell-o!". Our short conversation went something like this:

D.S.: When you shook my hand, were you admiring this bracelet (name) gave me?

Me: Oh yeah, even from ten feet away!

D.S.: Have you been to Ice Monster?

Me: No. Then again, I'm not that much into cold snacks.

D.S.: But do you go to Jollibee?

Me: Yeah. Everybody goes to Jollibee. Especially in desperate times.

D.S.: Well, Jollibee is service with a smile! Now is it Jollibee or Jollibees?

Me: It's singular.

D.S.: OK. Now, (my name), do you have a yaya?

Me: No. (The question surprised me.)

D.S.: But do you have a driver? See, I'm trying to piece it together. If you have a super yaya then you'd have a driver. Right?

Me: Right. It follows. Hey, do you go online? (I decided I wanted to get him to comment on this blog.)

D.S.: No. I've only been on the internet a total of four times and I can never get into it. I used my friend's internet and he showed me how but I could never get the hang of it. (So much for premium advertising.)

Me: Well, you're not missing much. See ya!

It was nothing out of the ordinary. I had thought I was going to act like a raging fan but I'm just not that type of person and I'm glad about that. David Sedaris was exactly the perceptive, witty, and accommodating human being I thought he would be. Americans can rest easy.