In church, there are messages that speak to you and messages that scream at you. This one was Sgt. Slaughter.
I had considered myself a complete failure by the time I took the aisle seat in the ballroom and listened to Pastor Caloy deliver the Easter message. There I was, going on six weeks in this place without any sign of a future--here or back home. All I had was/were the experience/s of watching your grand plan crumble piece by piece like a house of cards. I was feeling very weak. Really weak. If someone had blown their nose in my general direction, I'd have been knocked down. Then the pastor said something: "The fog of uncertainty clouds our judgement."
Bang! That was it. My faith was being washed away by self-doubt, self-rationalizations, self-help. I was on the express train to depression and who knows what lay beyond that. You see, I couldn't get a visual on how close I was to the shore so I couldn't find the energy to keep on anymore. I put God in a box.
That message I heard came to me just in time. When I realized this, I prayed for forgiveness and asked Him to take full control and give me a willing and undivided heart, seeking His will and offering up to Him all the plans I've carefully laid out for myself. I asked that He burn my map and draw me a new one. I've never looked back since.
These days, I face a daily struggle against self-doubt. It vacillates throughout the day and it takes a heavy toll on me. But man! By God's grace, I've been receiving encouragement from reading His word. God speaks to me like arrows through my gut: Never give up, never under any circumstances. Never allow the devil's lies get hold of your heart and tell you you're worthless. Never think that God is not listening or that God is abandoning you because of the lack of progress. We must remember always that He's brought us where we are now as we have asked Him to and He knows exactly what you and I need--down to the very minute details--before we even ask. He'll never leave us to fend for ourselves. He's going to see you and me through these troubles. God is our navigator and He will bring us to shore. Our role in the equation is to give thanks, trust, pray, and wait. Repeat the cycle and rejoice.
Remember, too, that I'm always here for you. God bless you, beloved.
I had considered myself a complete failure by the time I took the aisle seat in the ballroom and listened to Pastor Caloy deliver the Easter message. There I was, going on six weeks in this place without any sign of a future--here or back home. All I had was/were the experience/s of watching your grand plan crumble piece by piece like a house of cards. I was feeling very weak. Really weak. If someone had blown their nose in my general direction, I'd have been knocked down. Then the pastor said something: "The fog of uncertainty clouds our judgement."
Bang! That was it. My faith was being washed away by self-doubt, self-rationalizations, self-help. I was on the express train to depression and who knows what lay beyond that. You see, I couldn't get a visual on how close I was to the shore so I couldn't find the energy to keep on anymore. I put God in a box.
That message I heard came to me just in time. When I realized this, I prayed for forgiveness and asked Him to take full control and give me a willing and undivided heart, seeking His will and offering up to Him all the plans I've carefully laid out for myself. I asked that He burn my map and draw me a new one. I've never looked back since.
These days, I face a daily struggle against self-doubt. It vacillates throughout the day and it takes a heavy toll on me. But man! By God's grace, I've been receiving encouragement from reading His word. God speaks to me like arrows through my gut: Never give up, never under any circumstances. Never allow the devil's lies get hold of your heart and tell you you're worthless. Never think that God is not listening or that God is abandoning you because of the lack of progress. We must remember always that He's brought us where we are now as we have asked Him to and He knows exactly what you and I need--down to the very minute details--before we even ask. He'll never leave us to fend for ourselves. He's going to see you and me through these troubles. God is our navigator and He will bring us to shore. Our role in the equation is to give thanks, trust, pray, and wait. Repeat the cycle and rejoice.
Remember, too, that I'm always here for you. God bless you, beloved.
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